To feel secure in care, your child needs to develop an emotional attachment to the adults who care for him or her. For this reason it is important to try and maintain continuity of care and to avoid changing carers more than once a year. Younger children will benefit from even longer relationships, so try and keep this in mind when you choose your care provider.

The relationship between your child and his or her carer is an important one for ensuring the success of the child care arrangement. Rest assured, however, that quality care is no substitute for the value of your primary parent-child bond and you should not worry about being ‘replaced’.

Things to Consider When Choosing Child Care

• There should be a good match between your child’s temperament and needs and the carers ability to meet them
• Look for small numbers of children to carers. For pre-school children, it’s ideal to have no more than four children to one carer although this is not always achievable
• Look for a carer with the potential to develop a continuous, strong and positive relationship with your child
• Make sure staff have been trained in health, safety (CPR) and child development

These rules apply no matter whether you choose a nanny, an au pair, an in-home carer, family day care, long day care centre, a pre-school, or a nanny share arrangement. The priority is to ensure your child receives quality, professional child care which accommodates their needs and helps you meet your professional commitments.

All of the child care options available have pros and cons and you’ll need to weigh them up against your family’s requirements to ensure you put your child in the best type of care.

Author of The Working Mother’s Guide to Life: Strategies, Secrets, and Solutions, Ms Linda Mason has done a lot of research in to this subject and after conducting numerous interviews with working parents has shown that it is possible to have a rich and vibrant family culture even when both parents are working.

‘A strong family is one with a deeply felt connection, a sense of belonging and security, and unconditional love. The sense of family is defined by values and connections, not by any particular configuration of individual roles’, she writes.

In her book Ms Mason encourages parents to continuously share their professional world and working life with their children. She says that taking your children to your workplace to see where you work and meet your colleagues will make the whole thing seem more real to them.

‘When we take our children to our workplace, tell them stories about lunchtime and company outings, and explain what we actually do throughout the day, it helps our children shape views of what they want to be when they grow up. They will also be proud of our achievements when they have a better understanding of what we do for work’, she says.

Ms Mason suggests in her book that it’s possible to create a balance between working life and home life by helping children understand that work is a natural part of life and by cultivating a rich and strong family life for the times when everyone is home together.

She says that families can achieve this by intentionally creating a unique set of rituals and traditions which are easy and fun to do on a regular basis and which everyone can get involved with. Some ideas include playing a favourite song before everyone leaves the house in the morning, walking the dog after dinner, Sunday brunch, Saturday cuddles in bed and/or reading a favourite book before bed.

In addition to the family rituals, Ms Mason says it is very important for family members to make the most of the time they have together, even with the competing pressure of work.

‘In the eyes of children, it’s the little things that count the most: the hugs, the conversations, playing together, listening to your child play an instrument, singing a song together or reading a book’, she says.

Ms Mason says for families with working parents it is especially important to share feelings and to be intimate and honest with your children. She says this fosters an open environment which encourages constant communication and allows children to develop a broad range of emotional responses to the things they experience in the world.

‘Sharing life stories, personal interests, and relaxed time with our children can help us appear real and accessible to them. Through this, we create a bond with our child that is based on intimacy and honesty’, she says.

As a final suggestion for creating a strong family culture Ms Mason advises parents to create intimate family spaces which are cozy and inviting for children. This has the two fold benefit of providing your children with a snuggly nook where they can go and read a book or do some drawing as well as a place you can go to share these moments with your children.

‘However we choose to create a strong family culture – inventing unique family rituals, continuous verbal family bonding, or designing intimate family settings – the real values lie in the focused family time spent together. Such occasions will develop into cherished family moments for everyone’, says Ms Mason.

Stop Working During Pregnancy?

Many experts insist women should stop working when pregnant but is this really necessary? The truth is, this is completely dependent on you and your doctor or health care provider. If you are perfectly healthy and your baby is progressing smoothly, then there is no reason why you should not be working during pregnancy.

As a mother in the United States, no employer can deny you of your right to work. In fact many women continue to work right until their due date.

If you are in a safe job and you and your baby have no health complications, it is safe for you to work. However, obviously you must be extra careful when working during pregnancy and it is best you do not carry out certain tasks such as lifting heavy weights etc.

Working When Pregnant

It is not essential for you to stop working during pregnancy and if you choose to work during pregnancy, you must be very cautious and careful. In addition, some of these tips might come in handy.

• Make sure you get enough rest. Lack of sleep and rest combined with long hours of work will cause unnecessary stress.
• Remember to take enough breaks to ensure you can recharge and keep up your energy levels.
• Eat right and eat nutritious food as you will need all the energy possible for work and after work.
• While working during pregnancy is important to keep earning the money, it may not be as essential to keep up some of your other commitments. Do not tire yourself out and cut back on some other standing commitments.

Stop Working During Pregnancy – What NOT To Do

If you have made up your mind to work during pregnancy, it is important that you realize there are certain things you should not be doing. If your job involves any of these tasks, you should not be doing them. Tasks that are an absolute no-no if you are working during pregnancy are:

• Heavy lifting
• Exposure to harmful substances
• Standing for long hours
• Pushing

You must also ensure that you work in a stress free environment and that you do not overwork yourself. While working 60 hours of a week may have been the norm for you, as a pregnant mother to be working during pregnancy, it is best if you stick to a maximum of 38 – 40 hours of work so you and the baby can get adequate rest.

There is nothing wrong with working during pregnancy, however it is a decision you will have to make based on your own individual case and keeping your health considerations in mind.

References:

1. Working during pregnancy – Mayo Clinic

Baby Name Ideas

Choosing a baby name is definitely not the easiest thing in the world so where should you start your baby name search?

• Would you like a unique name for a baby or would you prefer a name that is popular? Once you have answered this question, it will give you some sort of direction. A child with a popular name might share their name with hundreds of other kids which can help them easily fit in and make friends. On the other hand, a more unusual name gives the child a unique identity and makes them feel special. However, an unusual baby name can also mean a child may feel singled out. Choose carefully.
• Culture, nationality and religion often dictate a name for babies. Depending on your background, you might veer towards certain names and this could be a good starting point to help you in choosing baby names.
• Parents often name their babies after family members or friends and this might be a baby name consideration for you as well. For example, you might choose to name your baby after your grandparents, parents or even aunts and uncles. Certain names are very popular within a family and this could help you in choosing a baby name as well.
• If you are truly striving for unique, you always have the option of making up your own name. However, be sure that it does not sound silly. Parents often make new names by combing two existing names.
• In certain cultures, names have meanings and you might want to take this into consideration to help you choose baby name.

Names Of Babies – Considerations

While coming up a name for babies, you must keep certain factors in mind to ensure your child does not grow up hating their name.

• It is important to consider where you will be living. Some cultures have very complicated and hard to pronounce names. However outside of this culture, others might find it hard to pronounce your child’s name. If your child will be growing up in a place different from your culture, you must consider this and not single them out with a difficult name.
• When naming your child, consider if it is possible in any way to twist the name so it sounds funny or obscene. Sadly children can be mean and if your child has a funny name they may find it very hard to deal with.
• While uniqueness is nice, it is important to ensure your child’s name is easy to pronounce. Nobody likes growing up with a name that everyone is always mispronouncing so it is better to pick something that everyone can easily pronounce.
• Also, ensure that your child’s name and last name go together. Unpleasant name combinations should be avoided.

Naming a baby is a huge responsibility so think about long and hard before picking a baby name for your child.

References:

1. Top 10 Hints on Naming Your Baby – Baby Naming

Pre-Delivery Steps to Avoid Sibling Jealousy

• Tell your child that you are expecting a baby before he or she hears it from another family member. Introducing the new baby idea early allows time for your child to accept it.
• Let your child know that Mommy’s stomach is going to grow big, that she will be tired and will need to rest, that one day she’ll go to hospital to deliver the baby, and even details like where the baby is growing. Keeping a child involved reduces chances of sibling jealousy later.
• If there are changes to be made, make them before introducing the new baby or the older child will feel displaced. If your toddler has to be potty trained, weaned from breast feeding, or has to join childcare for a few hours, start it during the pregnancy months itself.
• Changes such as redecorating or moving a child to a new bedroom to make place for the baby could be causes of sibling jealousy. However, showing that you value your child’s opinion and talking to him like a grown-up about decisions can help. Involve your toddler in choosing wallpaper or paint, allowing him or her to perform small tasks or to help moving toys to a new room.
• There are books about introducing new babies that you can share with your child to prepare him or her. Spending quiet time together provides an atmosphere for children to air their views about the pregnancy and their worries or fears. Listen to them and discuss them with your child seriously.
• Explain that your child will have a little brother or sister to play with, and how they will always have a special friend. Talk about the good part of being a big sister or brother, about how big siblings look after little siblings.
• Acknowledge their feelings of sibling jealousy and tell them its acceptable to feel like that. Helping them by talking through it can make it easier in the months when the baby is around and when you may not have as much time.

Introducing the New Baby

• Try to have a small gift ready for your toddler “from his baby sister or brother” for the first time you introduce the new baby to your child.
• When your child first sees the baby, let him or her decide if they want to just look, or touch its hand or hold it for a few minutes.
• Don’t force your child to kiss or hug the baby until he or she is ready.
• Sibling jealousy is often just a result of the child feeling that they are no longer important. Shower attention on your child and ask how school or preschool has been, what they have been up to, or what they ate for dinner.
• When introducing the new baby to visitors and relatives, remind them to show attention to your toddler too, and talk to him or her about things other than the baby.
• Set aside special time for the child, either while the baby is asleep or being cared for by your partner. Let your child know this time is only for the two of you, and do whatever the child wants.
• Allow the older child to participate in looking after the baby, helping with feeding or bath time, or fetching things, but only if they show willingness. Telling them repeatedly that they are being wonderful big brothers or sisters can reduce sibling jealousy to a large extent.
• Tell your child stories about how happy everyone was when they were born and stories about their birth and infancy. Children love stories about their own babyhood, and it will show them that their stories are just as special.

References:

1. Cure Sibling Jealousy – Baby World

2. Preparing your Child for a New Sibling – Kids Health

3. New Baby Sibling- University of Michigan Health System

Different Stages of Sibling Rivalry

Sibling relationships changes over time, depending on the child’s growth and learning. Shouts of “It’s not fair” can change to “She’s always in my room, trying out my clothes” as young children grow into preteens and teens. During the toddler years, sibling conflict can start as children learn about concepts such as “mine” and “yours”. Most toddlers become possessive about almost everything around them at this point, and can resent another child trying to share or take away something that they perceive as theirs, including parental attention.

Later, during school years, sibling jealousy takes different forms as children begin to develop interests in hobbies or subjects that they have been exposed to at school. A sense of individuality begins to grow, and they are keen at this stage to show what they’ve learned or achieved. Siblings who take attention away at this point can become a cause for sibling jealousy. The teenage years are often most difficult for the first child. As teens grow into adults and want to assert independence from family and sibling relationships, younger siblings who still treat them as children cause a great deal of stress.

How to Solve Sibling Conflict

• One way to maintain smooth sibling relationships is to spend time with all children and offer individual attention to each one. When children don’t enjoy the same activity but each wants you to participate in their hobbies or activities, it is a good idea to separate them. Sending one child to the park with his grandparents allows you time to read or color with the other child, keeping both happy.
• Sometimes during weekends or holidays, sibling conflict is just a reaction to boredom or irritation, and children tend to take it out on each other. If you see this happening, getting them involved in a common activity such as making something or doing something that is fun, they will forget their reasons for fighting.
• Make it a point, during more relaxed moments to let children know how special and unique each one is to you. Sibling jealousy can be turned into respect for each other with a little tact and a lot of patience. Use concrete examples of their achievements or talents, and do this in front of the other, so that they learn that each is loved and cherished in their own right.
• Avoid comparisons between siblings as much as possible. Telling one child that if their brother or sister can do something, they should be able to as well is a reason for sibling jealousy, rivalry or a fight later on.

Remember that sibling jealousy teaches children a number of qualities that will stand them in good stead in their adult lives. Learning how to listen to another person, learning to express anger in appropriate ways, learning how to control aggression, understanding family dynamics and their own relationship with each other – all these can be learned if sibling conflict is handled carefully.

References:

1. Sibling Rivalry – Kids Health

2. Sibling Rivalry – University of Michigan Health System

3. Seven Ways to Solve Sibling Rivalry – PBS Parents

Terrorism and War and Children

Reactions are difficult during terrorism and conflict and children follow precedents set by adults. By maintaining a strong and composed reaction, traumatized children are given an example to imitate. However, it is important to address the issue. Avoiding the subject or pretending that children do not understand it will only add to their confusion.

Acknowledge their feelings: Set aside time to talk about the event. Children should be encouraged to speak about the tragedy, terrorism or war, and to share what they have felt. Verbalizing their emotions and receiving validation or agreement from adults is an important part of dealing with and accepting the facts. Talking about death may be part of the discussion for older children.

• Address their fears: Allow children to explain what they are most worried about. Deal with each fear seriously and without mocking it. Explain that the most unfounded fears are not likely to happen, and give reasons for this in simple language. For more realistic fears, explain your own plans in case something does go wrong.
• Assure them of their safety: Telling children they are loved and will be looked after may seem like a small action, but makes a huge difference to children and conflict affected family members.
• Admit your own feelings: During a discussion, tell children that terrorism and war upsets you as well, or that it makes you sad, but you are looking forward to when things improve. Statements like this assure them that they are being taken seriously and also offers hope.
• Provide details which add to the feeling of security: Tell children or show them that their country or their leaders are doing everything possible to make sure that everyone stays safe. Talking about patrol squads, extra security measures, sniffer dogs or customs checks at airports proves that safety is a primary concern for everyone during war and children will feel safer.
• Set an example: Show respect for the new security measures that usually follow terrorism or war. Children will learn from your behavior and displaying annoyance or frustration at a few extra minutes delay will show that you find such measures pointless. Be aware of conversations in front of children, especially those concerning racial or religious overtones.
• Offer stability in routine as well as distraction: Try to maintain a sense of routine and habit as it provides security for traumatized children. Also, provide distractions that will take their minds off terrorism and war. Participating in activities that help rebuilding communities distracts children and conflict affected people will benefit. Even simple activities like sending cards, baking cookies or helping babysitting can make a difference.
• Protect children as much as possible: Keeping children away from adult conversations about the attacks, not letting the news on TV remain on all the time, discussing financial, security or political worries separately can protect children when they are already traumatized.

It is also important to take care of yourself during troubled times. If you feel the need for time to yourself, engage a relative or trusted adult to look after the children. Talk to a professional if you need advice for handling children or for dealing with your own emotional burdens when dealing with terrorism and war.

References:

1. Children and Fear of War and Terrorism: Tips for Parents and Teachers – National Association of School Psychologists
2. Talking With Your Children about Terrorism-  Children’s Hospital Boston
3. For Parents: Helping Your Child Deal with the Terrorist Tragedy – Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh

Complications of Thumb Sucking

A prolonged habit of thumb sucking can be the cause of orthodontic problems such as improper alignment of the teeth, an overbite, or malformation of the palate (roof of the mouth). Also a child’s speech can change with sucking thumbs; either creating a lisp or making the child thrust his or her tongue out during speech. Children who have the habit of thumb sucking even in their later childhood are more likely to face these complications up to adolescence.

How to Stop Thumb Sucking

It is important that children are not mocked or ridiculed to discourage their habit of thumb sucking. There are some tactics that parents or child care professionals can use to help children stop sucking thumbs.

• Most children associate the habit of thumb sucking with comfort, or use it to soothe themselves. If your child has a soft toy or special blanket that encourages sucking thumbs, you could consider keeping it out of sight for some time.
• Discuss the habit of thumb sucking with your child. Talking about its effects can sometimes encourage the child to stop on his or her own. For older children who suck their thumbs, it may lead to them being laughed at or teased in school. When they share this with you, it offers an opening to talk about how to stop thumb sucking.
• Putting a bitter, child-safe nail polish or fluid on a child’s nails or fingers can remind them even if they are not aware of sucking thumbs.
• Using a colorful bandage or plaster on the thumb can be a cheery way to dissuade them from the habit of thumb sucking.
• If your child responds well to games and challenges, you can create a game in which they are rewarded for every two or five days of no sucking thumbs with something they enjoy doing.
• Distracting children with an activity when they begin sucking thumbs is a good way to stop them without making them self conscious.

While most children give up sucking thumbs on their own, some children tend to revert to the habit when sad, hungry, tired, bored or angry. This should only be a temporary problem and soon children will grow out of thumb sucking completely. It is also important not to discuss how to stop thumb sucking with children during difficult times, as it soothes them when troubled. Treating the habit of thumb sucking gently and with sensitivity will help your child without causing guilt or shame.

References:

1. Thumb Sucking – Web MD
2. Thumb Sucking in children Lead to Overbite – Bio-Medicine
3. Thumb Sucking – Healthline

Children and Conflict

Children have been found to be more traumatized by terrorism and war than by natural disasters like floods or earthquakes. It is hard for adults to comprehend the darker side of human nature, to explain hate or violence to themselves, or to justify killing and injuring fellow human in war; and children find it even more difficult. The set of values or ethical codes that children accept from their parents do not seem so uncomplicated once they are aware of killing in the name of religion, politics or hate.

War and Children at Risk

Those who are more at risk and who are likely to be more deeply affected by terrorism and war are:

• Children who have witnessed a terror attack or a military action
• Children who have lost someone to terrorism or war
• Children with family members are in the military, in other defense units or in emergency response teams

How Children Feel About Terrorism and War

Children react differently to news of terrorism and war. From indifference to concern, curiosity or even fear, children will view attacks or tragedies with a mix of feelings. Common reactions are:

• Fear: Children are often unable to sort through information they receive from the media and from their peer group, and they tend to imagine violence or death coming into their homes or communities. Even when the attack or action takes place far away from the child’s environment, it can be a very fearful time for him or her.
• Anger: Children often react with anger when they feel powerless. Hearing about or seeing terrorism and war can make them angry because they have no way of helping or stopping the suffering. Children may also react angrily if they feel overwhelmed, insecure or threatened.
• Confusion and disbelief: When faced with the news that someone would willingly kill people or detonate bombs in crowded areas, it confuses children who have been taught a strict moral or ethical code. In addition, children may also be affected by violence or death on television, confusing the fictitious wrong-doers with real-life criminals or terrorists.
• Isolation and loss of stability: When children are faced with unfamiliar events or disruption of routine, the stability of their daily lives is upset. Bereaved children and conflict zone children feel isolated from others, and could react with anger, regression, depression or unruly behavior.

References:

1. Children and Fear of War and Terrorism: Tips for Parents and Teachers – National Association of School Psychologists
2. Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters: What Parents Can Do – National Institute of Mental Health
3. Helping Our Children Deal with War – Mental Health America

What To Do Before Flying With Babies

As a parent, you can check with the airline to see how much they will assist you in travelling with children. While some provide sky cots that can make flying with kids easy for you, others do not- so make inquiries.

It is a good idea to reach the airport well in advance while travelling with children. If the flight is not full see if you can be seated next to a vacant seat while travelling with a baby.

What To Carry While Flying With Babies

For flying with baby keep a handy bag with diapers, wipes, a perfumed nappy sack, a hand towel and also some rash cream so that it make be ready for use in infant travel. Nappy sacks tied up may also serve as effective sick bags while travelling with children. Carry a roomy bag that can easily carry their toys, books and other items that can be retrieved and collected back easily while flying with kids.

Car Seat While Flying With Babies

An approved car seat that is used in flights is the safest seat while travelling with infants. The car seats, usually located in window seat areas also help other passengers move around easily and should be checked once installed so that they are secure. However, if this cannot be purchased comply with the flight regulations while flying with babies.

Infant Travel In The Aircraft

Flying with baby can be a fruitful learning experience for you if you take care of the following:

• It is advisable to carry baby food and utensils while travelling with infants as sometimes the airline may not have the food your infant is used to eating. Carrying disposable bibs and sterilized disposable bottle liners will also make your job easier in infant travel.
• Any meals and water that you would like warmed up while travelling with infants should be conveyed to the cabin crew well in advance.
• Be the last to leave the plane while flying with baby so that the cabin crew can assist you in getting out.

Keeping Your Child Busy While Travelling With A Baby

Toys and baby books that your child is fond of should be carried while flying with baby so that he/she remains occupied for the duration of the flight. Allow kids to view the airplane’s video channels and play games that will keep them engaged while travelling with children. Older children should carry their coloring books, dolls, cards, i-pods that will keep them entertained.

With these tips that can be easily followed, travelling with infants can not only become easier but also an enjoyable experience. So tighten your seat belts and get ready for infant travel.

Reference:

1. Airplane Travel Tips – Flying with Kids

What Are Childhood Allergies?

An allergy in child is caused when a foreign substance comes in contact with the skin, lungs, oesophagus, mouth, stomach or intestine and affects the immune system of the body. While some allergy in child may be caused by a particular substance, other children may not get childhood allergies from it. The symptoms of an allergic reaction follow next from which treatment should proceed.

Causes Of Child Food Allergies

Many food substances cause child food allergies. If your child is fond of eating any item which causes children allergies, it is sad to forgo it but it must be done. Wheat, eggs, milk, peanuts, soybeans and some varieties of fish ( such as cod and salmon) and shellfish ( such as shrimps and lobsters) often cause child food allergies.

Symptoms Of A Child With Allergy

Child allergy symptoms may range from extremely mild to very serious reactions caused in the body, depending on

Sneezing is a common allergy symptom. Photo by evah.

the organ that is affected. The brain, eyes, nose, heart, skin as well as other parts of the body may be affected in a child with allergy. Some symptoms include:

• Eyes becoming red, watery and itchy.
• Earache and ear infection may result from children allergies.
• The nose may show symptoms of hay fever, sinus pain, running nose, excessive sneezing, blocked nose and rhinitis. Rubbing the nose a lot (allergic salute) and dark circles under the eyes (allergic shiners) are cause in child with allergy rhinitis.
• Palpitations and irregular heartbeats may result when the heart is affected in a child with allergy.
• The skin may get itchy and inflamed with red rashes.

Child Food Allergies Symptoms

Certain food items lead to certain symptoms. For example, chocolates cause headaches (how sad would be such a child allergy!). Milk and cola drinks are known to cause hay fever, asthma symptoms are commonly by wheat and eggs and hives by strawberries and nuts. However, symptoms may be common to a variety of food products and one food item can cause more than one symptom.

Treatment Of Childhood Allergies

A good nutritional diet makes the immune system strong and is the best way to ward off a child allergy. However, when children allergies are detected from a substance it is best to avoid that food and environmental substance as repeated exposure to it can create further health problems. Additionally, allergy medicines may be administered to control childhood allergies.

Children allergies can be caused from a variety of substances such as indoor and outdoor molds, animal dander and dust mites. So taking care of these childhood allergies is of primary importance to bring up your child in a healthy way.

References:

1. Allergy Treatment Guide – Keep Kids Healthy