Parenting Children After Natural Disasters
In the aftermath of a natural disaster, adults find it hard to rationalize and accept the catastrophe. For children, coping with trauma is enhanced by their sense of powerlessness and dependency. Often, an entire area or community has suffered destruction and death during this event, making even the comfort of normalcy impossible for children. At this point, when children turn to them for cues, parents and teachers or child carers have a huge role to play in helping children coping with the trauma of a natural disaster.
Parents, Children and Trauma
Parents are the first source of comfort for children after a natural disaster. Even children who seem well-adjusted and independent before the incident will need help coping with trauma. It will be difficult for parents dealing with children and trauma, as well as relocation, loss, grief and emotional turbulence themselves. However children may be suffering mild trauma or childhood PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and may be unable to deal with it.
- Stay calm and show them that you are in control as much as possible. Children in trauma will look to you for behavioral cues in situations that they have not faced before.
- Repeat to them that things will be better soon, that you are all together, that you love them, and that everything will be back to normal soon. Physical reassurances are equally important; demonstrating your affection towards them and your partner/spouse helps them coping with the trauma.
- Encourage them to talk about their feelings. Share your own feelings as well, but within limits. Do not introduce new reasons for them to worry about.
- Children coping with trauma feel that they are reacting unnaturally. Assure them that their feelings are normal reactions and that everyone has them.
- Reinforce their sense of strength and ability to ‘beat the situation’. Remind them of a time in their own lives when they showed strength or determination so they feel confident of themselves. Point out that while your family and others suffered, you and the community are working on bringing things back to normal.
- As far as possible, help children to meet their friends and peers. While it may not be easy due to relocation or temporary accommodations after an event, children under stress and trauma who can interact with other children find it easier to recover.
- Be prepared for new behavioral problems or patterns. Children may even develop imaginary friends to help them deal with the situation.
- Draw children out of themselves by allocating tasks for helping the family or the community. When a natural disaster takes place, children can feel insignificant or as if they have no control. Putting them in charge of a task makes them feel useful and employs them constructively. Consider getting together a group of children to work on a simple project like cleaning up a garden.
- If your family has been shifted to a new accommodation for temporary use, take items that the child knows and loves.
- Talking to children about death is an important part of healing. If you have lost a family member or loved one, this is critical.
- Allow children to return to their normal routine as soon as possible. School, day care centers and classes will provide a welcome sense of security for children suffering trauma or childhood PTSD.
- Remember that a child does not have to actually be part of the incident to suffer the trauma of it. Watching it on TV or hearing about it can induce a milder form of anxiety or confusion.
- It is important that you take care of yourself too. If you feel you need help, talk to a medical professional.
Childhood PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
For children, PTSD is a response that could arise after a traumatic event has taken place. Symptoms include feelings of anxiety, re-experiencing the event, feeling it will happen again, avoiding talking of it or avoiding reminders of it, behavioral issues, sleeping and eating disturbances, regression in behavior, numbness to emotion, inability to concentrate, being easily startled, and withdrawal from family, friends and surroundings.
If parents notice these symptoms, it is advisable to talk to a medical professional for help.
References:
- Helping Children after a Natural Disaster – National Association of School Psychologists
- Nurturing Children After Natural Disasters – ChildCare Aware
- What You Might Feel in a Disaster – FEMA for Kids
- Helping Children Cope with Disaster – FEMA

