Parenting Tips During Terrorism and War
Terrorism and war are frightening realities that children and families have to deal with today. For parents, it is a difficult position to be in: wanting to preserve a child’s innocence and also knowing that such matters need to be discussed. There is constant media footage of distressing images, dying children and conflict scenarios or war and children are equally exposed. Even children who are completely unaffected by an event will still have questions about it and about the people involved. Understanding how to help traumatized children can make it easier to answer them.
Children and Conflict
Children have been found to be more traumatized by terrorism and war than by natural disasters like floods or earthquakes. It is hard for adults to comprehend the darker side of human nature, to explain hate or violence to themselves, or to justify killing and injuring fellow human in war; and children find it even more difficult. The set of values or ethical codes that children accept from their parents do not seem so uncomplicated once they are aware of killing in the name of religion, politics or hate.
War and Children at Risk
Those who are more at risk and who are likely to be more deeply affected by terrorism and war are:
- Children who have witnessed a terror attack or a military action
- Children who have lost someone to terrorism or war
- Children with family members are in the military, in other defense units or in emergency response teams
How Children Feel About Terrorism and War
Children react differently to news of terrorism and war. From indifference to concern, curiosity or even fear, children will view attacks or tragedies with a mix of feelings. Common reactions are:
- Fear: Children are often unable to sort through information they receive from the media and from their peer group, and they tend to imagine violence or death coming into their homes or communities. Even when the attack or action takes place far away from the child’s environment, it can be a very fearful time for him or her.
- Anger: Children often react with anger when they feel powerless. Hearing about or seeing terrorism and war can make them angry because they have no way of helping or stopping the suffering. Children may also react angrily if they feel overwhelmed, insecure or threatened.
- Confusion and disbelief: When faced with the news that someone would willingly kill people or detonate bombs in crowded areas, it confuses children who have been taught a strict moral or ethical code. In addition, children may also be affected by violence or death on television, confusing the fictitious wrong-doers with real-life criminals or terrorists.
- Isolation and loss of stability: When children are faced with unfamiliar events or disruption of routine, the stability of their daily lives is upset. Bereaved children and conflict zone children feel isolated from others, and could react with anger, regression, depression or unruly behavior.
References:
- Children and Fear of War and Terrorism: Tips for Parents and Teachers – National Association of School Psychologists
- Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters: What Parents Can Do – National Institute of Mental Health
- Helping Our Children Deal with War – Mental Health America
