Returning To Work After Child Birth & Choosing Care
Whether you have had just a couple of weeks off for maternity leave or have been away from work for 6 months, returning to work after child birth is never easy. Apart from the obvious fact that you will miss your child, you have to consider other practical issues such as child care and how your child will deal with being in the hands of a carer while you are at work.
To feel secure in care, your child needs to develop an emotional attachment to the adults who care for him or her. For this reason it is important to try and maintain continuity of care and to avoid changing carers more than once a year. Younger children will benefit from even longer relationships, so try and keep this in mind when you choose your care provider.
The relationship between your child and his or her carer is an important one for ensuring the success of the child care arrangement. Rest assured, however, that quality care is no substitute for the value of your primary parent-child bond and you should not worry about being ‘replaced’.
Things to Consider When Choosing Child Care
- There should be a good match between your child’s temperament and needs and the carers ability to meet them
- Look for small numbers of children to carers. For pre-school children, it’s ideal to have no more than four children to one carer although this is not always achievable
- Look for a carer with the potential to develop a continuous, strong and positive relationship with your child
- Make sure staff have been trained in health, safety (CPR) and child development
These rules apply no matter whether you choose a nanny, an au pair, an in-home carer, family day care, long day care centre, a pre-school, or a nanny share arrangement. The priority is to ensure your child receives quality, professional child care which accommodates their needs and helps you meet your professional commitments.
All of the child care options available have pros and cons and you’ll need to weigh them up against your family’s requirements to ensure you put your child in the best type of care.
Author of The Working Mother’s Guide to Life: Strategies, Secrets, and Solutions, Ms Linda Mason has done a lot of research in to this subject and after conducting numerous interviews with working parents has shown that it is possible to have a rich and vibrant family culture even when both parents are working.
‘A strong family is one with a deeply felt connection, a sense of belonging and security, and unconditional love. The sense of family is defined by values and connections, not by any particular configuration of individual roles’, she writes.
In her book Ms Mason encourages parents to continuously share their professional world and working life with their children. She says that taking your children to your workplace to see where you work and meet your colleagues will make the whole thing seem more real to them.
‘When we take our children to our workplace, tell them stories about lunchtime and company outings, and explain what we actually do throughout the day, it helps our children shape views of what they want to be when they grow up. They will also be proud of our achievements when they have a better understanding of what we do for work’, she says.
Ms Mason suggests in her book that it’s possible to create a balance between working life and home life by helping children understand that work is a natural part of life and by cultivating a rich and strong family life for the times when everyone is home together.
She says that families can achieve this by intentionally creating a unique set of rituals and traditions which are easy and fun to do on a regular basis and which everyone can get involved with. Some ideas include playing a favourite song before everyone leaves the house in the morning, walking the dog after dinner, Sunday brunch, Saturday cuddles in bed and/or reading a favourite book before bed.
In addition to the family rituals, Ms Mason says it is very important for family members to make the most of the time they have together, even with the competing pressure of work.
‘In the eyes of children, it’s the little things that count the most: the hugs, the conversations, playing together, listening to your child play an instrument, singing a song together or reading a book’, she says.
Ms Mason says for families with working parents it is especially important to share feelings and to be intimate and honest with your children. She says this fosters an open environment which encourages constant communication and allows children to develop a broad range of emotional responses to the things they experience in the world.
‘Sharing life stories, personal interests, and relaxed time with our children can help us appear real and accessible to them. Through this, we create a bond with our child that is based on intimacy and honesty’, she says.
As a final suggestion for creating a strong family culture Ms Mason advises parents to create intimate family spaces which are cozy and inviting for children. This has the two fold benefit of providing your children with a snuggly nook where they can go and read a book or do some drawing as well as a place you can go to share these moments with your children.
‘However we choose to create a strong family culture – inventing unique family rituals, continuous verbal family bonding, or designing intimate family settings – the real values lie in the focused family time spent together. Such occasions will develop into cherished family moments for everyone’, says Ms Mason.
