There are thousands of children across the USA who are placed in foster care because their birth parents are unable to care for them. Being part of the state foster care system means these children are not guaranteed any permanent home and often move from family to family, longing for a family to call their own. Adoptive parents can adopt older children from the state foster care system. The requirements for adoption vary from state to state but below we have outlined the basic steps for a state foster care child adoption.

Adopting A Child From Foster Care

If you are interested in adopting a child from the state foster care system, these are the basic steps you will need to follow.

• Get in touch with your local foster care office.  Acquire a child adoption application from this office. In some states, this will be a local office of the state’s Department of Social and Health Services.  In other states, adoptive services are administered through the county, under the Department of Social Services or Department of Human Services.  Phone numbers for these offices can be located in the government section of the phone book.
• Once you have completed your application, you have to register yourself as a licensed provider of foster care. This will involve a full assessment of your life, your partner’s life , your income and your living arrangements, to ensure you are capable of properly bringing up a child. Criminal background checks, credit checks etc will also be conducted. The licensure process varies from state to state so ask your local state foster care office about what will be assessed in your application.
• Once you have been assessed and your home and you qualify as an adoptive parent for foster care, you move on to the next stage where the child to be adopted is selected. This can occur in one of two ways. Either the social worker will contact you abotu a child they think is fitted for your needs, or you may contact the office about a child that you believe you would like to bring into your home and family.
• Once a child has been selected, meetings will be arranged to get you acquainted with the child. The meetings will increase over time, in frequency and in length so that the child can gradually get used to you and your home before they make the transition into your family.  A social worker will be assisting you through the entire process until the child adoption process is completely finalized.
• Finally, once the child has properly acclimatized to your home, the legal paperwork needs to be completed to finalize your child’s adoption. You will need expert help so be prepred to hire an attorney to help you file an adoption petition and complete the child adoption process for you.

Older Children Adoption: Do Your Research Well

It is of primary importance to find out everything you can about an adoption agency before going in for adopting older children. There are unethical practices being followed by many of these agencies and only alert checks run by you beforehand will ensure that your child adoption is not shrouded in any suspicion. Speak to other couples going in for child adoption and do not hesitate to voice any concerns.

Many children adopted are actually not orphans but those in extreme need- sick, traumatized or disabled. Thus before going in for older child adoption weigh all options carefully.

What To Remember In Adoption Of Older Children

Child adoption ensures an ideal home full of loving care for the healthy growth of the child. Older child adoption also means that he/she already has a well-formed personality and it is important to communicate frankly and learn all about his/her wants and needs.

Adjusting After Older Children Adoption

It is natural that a child will experience feelings of confusion and loss soon after child adoption when they join the family. Loss of familiar people, objects, environment and a new routine may cause anxiety and nervousness. However, it is important that you make your child feel most welcome at this point instead of feeling that their past has been left behind. Moreover, these feelings may recur at various points but instead of despairing at this after older child adoption, help your child to accept his/her pain and grow and try to explain adoption to them the best way possible.

Parenting After Adoption Of Older Children

Spending time with a child is essential

Parenting after older child adoption may be a challenging experience initially, however lay ground rules from the very beginning and spend quality time with your child. Create family rituals that will draw everyone closer and help your child to make connections between his/her past and present.

Activities After Older Children Adoption

Let the children participate in activities that interest them such as swimming, playing tennis or drawing. All activities will help them express themselves in different ways and make them less reserved in their new home.

Various books about older child adoption such as Why I Was Adopted? (Carole Livingston), A Koala For Katie: An Adoption Story (Jonathan London) and Emma’s Yucky Brother( Jean Little) may also be read together to reach out after adopting older children.

While adoption of older children may involve a few adjustments at the start, once things fall into place the children will only grow in love. This experience of child adoption is as much a learning process for the adoptive parent as the child, so be patient. Make it clear after older children adoption that they can come to you with any worry or care, without hesitation.

References:

1. What to expect when you adopt an older child – Adoption.com

Before Adopting a Biracial Child

Before you adopt a biracial child, a few points to consider:

1. What are your own prejudices or stereotypes about the child’s race? At some point, a prejudiced parent will project these stereotypes on the child, with potentially damaging results.
2. What are the attitudes of your family, extended family, and your locality? No matter how loving or multicultural a family, children will eventually be exposed to outside interaction. If your neighborhood is not particularly tolerant, it could lead to hurtful and dangerous situations later.
3. Are there any members of your immediate family who might not want a biracial child in their midst? Is there a relative who might not like the idea of a multiracial family?
4. Do you have children who may be ashamed to acknowledge a biracial sibling once they interact with other people?

While none of these are problems that should restrict or change your intentions, it is best to consider how you will handle them at this early stage.

About Interracial Adoption

Identity conflicts and confusions are natural with any children, and more so with adopted children when told about their births. When issues of race are brought into the equation, it can make the situation even more complex. Parents with a biracial child can deliberately or unconsciously encourage the racial ‘half’ that matches their own race, not knowing how to nurture the other half. However, in doing so, they are depriving the child of half his identity, as well as creating a sense in the child of shame about the other half or of not being good enough.

Integrating a Multicultural Family

Studies show that children begin to understand concepts like skin color and racial differences from their preschool years, and this is the best time to start helping your biracial child understand his or her individuality and cultural background. Here are some methods to help children understand and feel proud of their heritage.

1. Study the cultural heritage of the child so that you can integrate it into your family life. Food, festivals, stories and rituals can always be introduced gradually and in time will become part of your own family traditions.
2. Find other families who have an inter racially adopted child or families of the child’s racial background so that your child has a reference point, or someone to talk to.
3. Ensure that your home has culturally sensitive material: art that depicts both races of your child in a positive manner, dolls and story books that are ethnically diverse, food that is more global in its origin, and music that is not offensive or insensitive to any race.

Your most important contribution to your biracial child’s sense of belonging and pride is to answer questions openly and sensitively, any time they may arise. Initiate conversations of age-appropriate issues, and listen carefully to your child to understand any confusion or doubts that he or she might be facing. Whether a child is adopted by a multicultural family or born into it, he or she will grow into an individual that is shaped and helped by the attitudes, behavior patterns and warmth of that family.

References:

1. Biracial Adoption – Adoption Blogs
2. What is Interracial Adoption? – Adoption

Adoptive Children: Knowing is Important

The reasons for telling adopted children in a family about their biological birth are numerous. All individuals, whether adopted or living with their biological families, begin to create an identity of their own around puberty and through their teenage years. A sense of self begins to set in as a child grows and understands one’s own background, culture, and strengths. Adopted children may feel a sense of detachment or a gap in their personalities that they can’t explain unless they know they come from a different background and parent.

Equally important is the awareness of a possibility of medical conditions, learning problems, or susceptibilities to illnesses or disorders. Adopted children in a family may not be prepared for genetic conditions passed on from biological parents, some of which may only crop up in their old age. When adoptive children marry and procreate, there is a chance of passing on illnesses or conditions that they are not aware of.

Adopted Children in Families

A natural need to preserve stability often prevents parents from telling their adoptive children about their origins, or even lying about it. However, this only works in the short-term. Children who are told that they have been adopted are likely to want to find their birth parents, but not to leave their adoptive parents for this. Adoptive parents should understand that the need to find birth parents is a natural need to understand where one has come from, and does not have to lead to abandonment by the child.

Talking about Adoption: The Right Time

There is no specific time that is best for telling the adopted children in your family that they are not biologically yours. However, it is usually best to tell them early instead of leaving it till they are teens, as that can be a difficult time for them. Also, it prevents them from hearing from outside sources and feeling as if they’ve been cheated or lied to. For any adoptive child or parent, this is a sensitive topic and requires patience and understanding. Here are a few tips on breaking the news gently and dealing with the doubts that are bound to arise.

• Choose a time when both you and the child are relaxed and will not be disturbed. It is best when both parents talk to the child together.
• Even if you find it difficult, make an effort to sound positive when you talk about your adopted child’s past.
• Once you have told your adopted child the facts, he or she might have questions about birth parents and other details. Think of all possible questions and answers beforehand, and avoid telling very young children negative details as it could hurt and confuse them.
• Constantly reassure your child that you adopted him or her because you wanted them so much and love them so deeply. Reinforcing the fact that you are all family now can prevent them feeling isolated and alone.
• Telling your child small details about when you first saw them, or about the first time you brought them home can make it seem like a happy story and might make it easier.
• Be prepared for reactions like anger, shock, confusion and tears. An adopted child may also show reactions much later.
• Children are naturally curious and will want to talk about their past many times. Be sure to answer them patiently each time and reassure them too.

In cases where children have suffered trauma or abuse as a child, or are suffering from attachment disorders, they’ll find it difficult to trust adults. It might be advisable to talk to a professional before discussing adoption with children in these situations. Above all, trust your instincts when talking to your adopted children. You know best what approach will work best, and how to handle their reactions.

References:

1. Talking to Children about Adoption – Parentline Plus
2. Common Post Adoption Issues: Telling Children About Their Adoption – Mental Help
3. Talking to your Child about Adoption – Adoption