Single Parent Households

Children of single parents are susceptible to psychological issues, emotional problems and social difficulties, and need the extra attention and care to help them cope with their situation. Single parents need to offer emotional care and nurturing, traditionally seen as the mother’s role, as well as being the discipliner and provider for the child, usually mantles that the father takes on. In addition to child care and upbringing, single parents juggle the demands of a job, social pressures, and a personal life. When the stress levels increase as they so often do, members of single parent homes can develop problematic relationships, leading to further estrangement and isolation for children.

Being a Single Parent – Making New Rules

In single parent households, every day can be a challenge. It takes effort and reflection to help make life in a single parent home easier for everyone involved. Rules and routines that once worked need to be reconsidered and changed to suit the new situation. Some basic rules:

• Children of divorced or widowed parents will need to be counseled separately for their own issues. Parents must understand that each child reacts differently and should not presume that the success formula of another single parent will work in their own case.
• At the time of change, most children are likely to want to help if they are old enough. Allocating some of the household responsibilities not only lifts some of the burden off the shoulders of a single parent, but makes the child feel useful and gives purpose. Put your child in charge of safe tasks like doing the laundry or laying the tables for meal times, or other age-appropriate tasks. Allowing older siblings to help in morning routines or bedtime routines makes them feel like they are making a contribution and helps them develop responsibility.
• Switching between the caring parent and the disciplining parent can be confusing for both a single parent and for the child. When a parent confronts a child for misbehaviour, keeping it firm and matter-of-fact will work better than using emotional outburst. However, single parents should remember that a lot of unruly behavior is often a cry for attention or a deeper emotional problem and treat it as such.
• Another reason to create new routines at home is that the old habits could have painful associations for both children and parents, especially in the case of death. Introducing new family traditions while keeping those that are precious and familiar is another way to ease the transition from a double-parent family to a single parent home.

Single parent families often have to consider the welfare of their children before their own, and doing so repeatedly can lead to resentment and anger. Counselling and professional help can work just because they offer someone that a parent can talk to, and single parent groups often provide help and advice. Most importantly, explore your rights and options as single parents to make sure you are utilising every resource at your disposal. Being a single parent is not easy, but a few sensible choices can make it rewarding and lead to deeper bonding and new experiences.

Reference:

1. Single Parent Tips – Life Tips

A common problem faced by single parent households is a lack of a role model for children. While most children grow up observing the interaction between two parents and learning about healthy social responsibilities or relationships, single parent families need to be creative about this. Trusted relatives and close family friends often offer a chance for children to observe and learn through interaction.

Single Parent Families – Creating a Work-Life Balance

While a job can suddenly become critical when there is only one income to support the home, single parents will have to deal with increased demands and less time for themselves. Creating a more appropriate work-life balance involves some restructuring of professional lives for working parents.

• Talk to your current employer about working more flexible hours so that you can be there for your children when they are home from school. If it means finding a job that allows you this freedom, it might be worthwhile considering shifting to a new workplace. Volunteering for childcare at a center often solves both the problem of employment and of spending time with your child.
• On weekends, make sure to plan activities that allow for some quality time together. In addition to providing fun and distraction, activities are a good time to talk to children in a relaxed atmosphere about problems or issues.
• Explore options to earn and stay home if your job allows it. Telecommuting or working from home for your office is allowed by many offices now. Alternatively, setting up a home-based business or working freelance are also ideas that can be considered.

Emotional Support for Single Parents and Children

Single parent families are often closer knit because of a sense of camaraderie, or a feeling of us-against-all-problems between parents and children. Single parents often find it helps to treat their family as a team, whether there is one child or four. This provides a structure for the family to rely upon, and offers a chance at delegating responsibilities and choosing ‘leaders’ – concepts that children learn from an early age in the playground.

In the midst of worrying about their children and their jobs, single parents should set aside some time for themselves. Meditation, yoga, morning jogs, long baths, or just some alone time at home while the kids are being looked after by family or friends – anything that helps single parents to unwind and relax will help.

Being a single parent doesn’t have to be lonely. Support groups and single parent meetings offer a chance to socialize with other parents who are in similar situations. These groups may also offer services like baby-sitting, playgroups or outings for children. Dating is another option to explore, and once single parents feel ready, these groups provide chances to meet other people who understand the restrictions and joys of single parenthood.

Caring for a child if you are a single parent isn’t an easy task but if you are caring for a child on your own then there are several ways you can get help and support, you may also be entitled to help with costs for child care if you are working or want to return to work. Benefits you may be entitled to claiming are:

• Child tax credit
• Working tax credit
• Child care allowance

Child tax credit

You can claim for this benefit if you have one child or more regardless of whether you are working or not, if you have a child under the age of one year old you will receive a higher payment or if you have a child who is disabled.

Working tax credit

You may be entitled to claiming working tax credit if you have a child and work at least 16 hours per week and this benefit is paid in addition to any child tax credit that you may be entitled to. The amount you are entitled to will vary depending on the hours you work or the amount of money you earn.

Child care allowance

If you work more than 16 hours per week and are entitled to receiving working tax credit then you are automatically entitled to help with child care costs, the amount you will be entitled to is up to a maximum of 70p for every £1 a week spent on child care costs.

There is an allowable spending limit for costs on child care per week; this is £175 per week if you have 1 child and £300 per week if you have 2 or more children. You could be entitled to claiming back up to 70% of these amounts.

Other ways you can get help and support

Being a single parent doesn’t only mean that you need financial support but also help with day to day living, bringing up a child alone can leave you drained with not much time or energy left for a social life. There are however ways that can help ease the stress and strain of single parenting, listed below are some tips:

• Take any help that is offered by your parents, other relatives or friends – see if anyone reliable and trustworthy would be willing to care for your child even if only for an hour so you can have a little time to yourself. Even if you don’t leave the house a long hot soak in the bath or just some time spent apart from your regular routine can make such a difference.
• Single parents support groups – These are generally held in community centers and are for single parents and their children, usually the meetings will have a crèche which will be run by volunteers and you can leave your child in the crèche which will be in the same building. Here you get a chance to meet other single parents and have coffee and a chat and just generally relax in the company of other adults.
• Church nursery groups – Often your local church group will have a crèche or nursery for young children below school age, these are usually run by volunteers from the church and they will take your child for a couple of hours for a minimal fee.
• Shopping center crèches – Most large shopping malls will have a crèche which is run by staff trained in child minding, most will have an age limit, although they can be expensive. Also, most will not take young babies, but this will allow you to shop for a couple of hours without the hassle of a child in tow.